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Cards and Communication

May 28, 2013 04:20PM ● Published by tina

Combining the rituals and values of both partners in a relationship helps keep a couple connected.

Relationships with Terah Harrison

My family is crazy about giving cards. We mark every holiday and milestone with them, and it wouldn’t surprise me to get a card in celebration of the 25th anniversary of the first time I sent my mom a card. Needless to say, card giving can be a complex process in my family.  First, we spend at least an hour at our local Hallmark store picking out the perfect card.  Our saying is, “The best card is the one that makes you cry.”  Then we underline key phrases in the card. We also go above and beyond the sentiments expressed to write at least a paragraph expounding on our feelings for the recipient. The last step is giving the card in person and then crying and hugging after the card has been read. I believe if we had invested all the money into the Hallmark company instead of their cards, I would be writing this from my winter house in the South of France.   

When the first milestone rolled around in my relationship with my husband, I was so excited to receive that meaningful card and see the tears in his eyes as I read his heartfelt words. When there was no card, I thought it must be a joke: maybe he had hidden the card or was planning on a surprise card at dinner.  Then I thought back to his family’s events, and realized I had not seen one exchange of cards. The realization hit me: His family does not give cards! I did not receive a card for that first anniversary, but after I communicated how important the ritual was to me, he has not missed an opportunity since.

As humans we tend to partner with people who come from similar cultural backgrounds. Being from the same subculture (country of origin, religion, class) makes communication easier in a marriage, but we are still communicating cross-culturally, because every person comes from a different microculture — the family they were raised in. We often expect these differences to eventually work themselves out, but when expectations are not properly communicated, little things build up and can cause big problems. More important is learning to compromise and making your partner’s priorities as important as your own. For example, maybe you grew up in a family that ate dinner at different times of the day and in different locations. Your partner grew up having a family dinner every night, and this is important to him or her. It might be out of your comfort zone to sit down and have dinner together, but you realize how important it is to your partner, and a compromise is made. Combining the rituals and values of both your families’ microcultures helps you to develop your own unique family culture that keeps you connected and gives your life together meaning.

My husband might have failed to make what I figured as a simple card connection, but he did understand and, more importantly, act once I made my expectations clear. Although you must continually strive to communicate values in your relationships, it is essential to not take offense if your partner does not understand how important they are to you. Remember, it could be an entirely new cultural experience for him or her — your responsibility is to communicate with your partner and be open to learning and incorporating his or her values as well.

Terah Harrison

Terah Harrison is a licensed professional counselor and owner of Therapeutically Chosen, LLC, where she specializes in relationship counseling for singles and couples as well as matchmaking

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    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Kid's Night Out

    12/22/2017
    05:00PM — 09:00PM

    Parents can enjoy last minute Christmas shopping while the kids have a blast swimming, eating piz...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/22/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/22/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Fireside Holidays at Four Seasons

    12/22/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Don't get your tinsel in a tangle this holiday season trying to figure out fun things to do with ...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/22/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • PARTY ON!

    12/22/2017
    07:00PM — 10:30PM

    Join us each Friday night for our weekly ballroom dance party! A great mix of ballroom, latin, c...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/22/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Breakfast with Santa at Four Seasons

    12/23/2017
    10:00AM — 12:00PM

    The jolly ol' elf joins Four Seasons Dallas for breakfast and holiday crafts. Kids, bring your C...


  • Shop for handcrafted finds and support the local artisans responsible for them. Each local artisa...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/23/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/23/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/23/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/23/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Shop for handcrafted finds and support the local artisans responsible for them. Each local artisa...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/24/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/24/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/24/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/24/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/25/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/25/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/25/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/25/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Dine For Dragons: December 26

    12/26/2017
    07:00AM — 12:00AM

    Eat in. Take out. Help fuel Carroll Education Foundation with every meal on December 26. Restaura...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/26/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/26/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/26/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/26/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/26/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/26/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/27/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/27/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/27/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/27/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/27/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/28/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/28/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/28/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/28/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/28/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/29/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/29/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/29/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/29/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/29/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • PARTY ON!

    12/29/2017
    07:00PM — 10:30PM

    Join us each Friday night for our weekly ballroom dance party! A great mix of ballroom, latin, c...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/30/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/30/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/30/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/31/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/31/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Ring in New Years Eve at Truluck's

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 12:00AM

    This New Year's Eve (December 31), Truluck's has two options for diners to ring in the New Year: ...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Toast to the New Year with Moët & Chandon champagne and a five-course dinner in LAW before dancin...


  • New Year's Day Hangover Brunch at Four Seasons

    01/01/2018
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Start 2018 off right with an indulgent brunch and build your own Bloody Mary bar in LAW.


  • New Year's Day Hangover Brunch at Four Seasons

    01/01/2018
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Start 2018 off right with an indulgent brunch and build your own Bloody Mary bar in LAW.


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/01/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    01/01/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/01/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/02/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/02/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/03/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/03/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/04/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/04/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/05/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/05/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/06/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/06/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/07/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/07/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/08/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/08/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


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