Sponsored by Fertility Specialists of Texas
Written by Dr. Jerald Goldstein
It seems that from Halloween to New Year's, most people are swept up inbrthe many festivities of the season. This time of year has a big focus onbrchildren — there always seems to be parties with lots of cute kids runningbraround.
Family holiday gatherings can often be stressful, but when you add inbryour pain of infertility, they can become emotionally overwhelming. Being withbryour siblings, cousins and their children can remind you of what you don't have,brand that's never easy.
Although the message at this time of year is to be with family andbrfriends and to give to others, it is vital that you understand how to take carebrof yourself so that you can take pleasure in the season and find some holidaybrcheer.
Give yourself a break
Trying to conceive a baby and not succeeding can impact your wholebrlife. It's hard to have holiday cheer when you feel so powerless. Recognizebryour feelings, and cut yourself some slack if you don't feel like being festivebrthis year. Sometimes it is worthwhile to stop and review where you are, wherebryou have been and make plans going forward. Remember that just because yourbrtreatment has not yet been successful, most people are able to conceive withbrthe proper diagnosis and treatment.
It's okay to say no
Don't feel like you have to accept every invitation. Put in anbrappearance, if possible, but let friends and relatives know that you aren't upbrfor a long, drawn-out holiday event. True friends and close family willbrunderstand.
If it is a command performance and you must attend an event, make surebrthat you have an escape plan in place in case it's needed. You will be lessbrlikely to be caught off guard by that unexpected feeling of envy or depressionbrthat can suddenly come out nowhere. Ask your partner or a close friend to staybrby your side in order to steer you away from painful conversations or even takebryou home early if need be.
Give yourself permission to dobrwhat comforts you
Do not be influenced by others telling you that you are being selfishbror overreacting. You are being protective and caring of yourself in a healthybrmanner, and it's what you need to do in order to have the stamina to continuebryour fertility journey after the holidays are over.
Reaffirm your commitment to yourbrpartner or your friends
During this time of year, do some special activities with your partnerbror friends. It is important to remember when you feel isolated by your pain andbrdesire for a child that you remain connected to a few people who love you andbrwho enrich your life.
Plan some adult-only activities
Although children's activities like Santa lunches and familybrtree-trimming parties are everywhere, look for alternative activities for youbrand your partner. Maybe a night at a concert, or make plans to go to that specialbrrestaurant you have always wanted to try.
Remember those less fortunate
When you are coping with infertility, it can be hard to see past yourbrown pain, but many charities need help at this time of year. Offer to helpbrthose in need, and you might be surprised how you forget about your own painbrfor a while. You might see that things could be worse.
Continuing on
You may not have the one gift that you long for — a healthy baby — but makingbra plan for the holidays can help you enjoy the season and continue to focus onbryour fertility journey in the coming new year.
Jerald S. Goldstein, M.D.,a native Texan, is the founder and medical director at Fertility Specialists of Texas. He is board certified in both Obstetrics and Gynecology and Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. He received his Bachelor of Science degree with honors from Tulane University and graduated from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School. Dr. Goldstein's passion for helping couples achieve a pregnancy is reflected in his kind and compassionate relationship he develops with patients.
Following his residency and fellowship, Dr. Goldstein was an Assistant Professor in the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology at Washington University Medical Center in St. Louis.
Dr. Goldstein is the author of scientific publications in peer-reviewed journals including and Fertility and SterilityObstetrics and Gynecology
He is a member of the medical staff at Baylor Medical Center in Frisco as well as Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital. Dr. Goldstein is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology as well as the Society for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility (SREI).
Dr. Goldstein's areas of expertise include in vitro fertilization, recurrent pregnancy loss, polycystic ovarian syndrome,endometriosis, donor egg, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, and fertility preservation in couples undergoing therapy for cancer.