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Tired Lately? It May Have Nothing To Do With You.

Jun 29, 2015 03:42PM ● Published by Danielle Vaughn

Maybe it’s the lack of sun in Texas over the past month, but the vampires have been out in full force lately.

Not Dracula nor the teens with six pack abs, from Twilight, I’m referring to the vampires that we come into contact with more often than we realize. These vampires don’t suck our blood, but prefer to take our energy instead.

Emotional vampires—they come in and leave us feeling drained, tired and unsuspecting. They are in and out without a trace. Sneaky, energy draining vampires.

How many of us continue to maintain relationships that we feel are heavy and hard, chalking it up to being a good friend or family member?

When who we hang out with or listen to has a direct negative effect on our lives, that’s not being a good friend. That’s piloting life with a blindfold on.

Their lure can be enticing. Emotional vampires are in need and instinctively we all want to feel needed. We listen and tell them we will be there for them, so they come back.

Vampires are relentless with their negativity and/or drama. There’s more wrong than right going on in their lives, with no sight of improvement or they like to make us feel that what we have to say isn’t valid or important. The super sneaky ones make us think they are the life of the party, until we leave feeling railroaded and unsure of what just happened.

The good news is we don’t have to wear a necklace of garlic cloves to protect ourselves against these emotional vampires, we just have to be aware of them.

Here are a few things you can do to bring awareness to our circle.

Four ways to identify emotional vampires.

1. How do you feel when they leave?—as in how do you feel in your body, mind and spirit? Do you feel tired, uneasy, drained, anxious, hopeless or down? Were you feeling this way before your encounter? If not, chances are you’ve just been bitten.

2. Negative talk/ controllers—how much of what they say is negative? Friends share dreams, hopes and desires. Emotional vampires bitch and complain and find themselves in dramatic situations. They can also make us think we’re unworthy, unlovable or powerless. They want to control us by invalidating our feelings and telling us what you should or shouldn’t do.

3. Would you rather not take that call?— When you see who’s calling, do you avoid the call or are you happy to pick up? We all get busy, but if a wave of anxiety or despair washes over you when you see their name, you may want to check your neck.

4. Ask—close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask yourself, who is dragging me down? Who is making me feel disconnected from myself? Is there someone in my life draining me and making me feel tired? Is there someone in my life that I am trying to help but can’t? You have an immense level of knowledge within you, check in with it and trust your answer.

The emotional vampire has been identified, now what?

It’s difficult for a lot of us to self preserve when we feel we aren’t being a good friend or family member. We want to be the one they can count on. And besides, we can take it, we’re strong.

That’s when we blindside ourselves. Because strength also comes from knowing what’s not good for us. Strength comes from setting healthy boundaries and knowing we can’t save anyone when we go down with them.

When we allow ourselves to be drained, we go down in flames too. Our dreams and hopes and desires get pushed back.

Let the vampire go. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic release. You can send them off with love and let them know you care deeply for them, but until they can start to make positive changes about the things they constantly complain about, you can’t be let in on it. You’re happy to brainstorm about positive changes with them, but will no longer take the daggers of their complaints.

Be assertive—not bossy nor pushy, but assertive. If it’s a controlling emotional vampire, let them know you appreciate their advice, but that you’re ready to make this decision yourself. Be clear with the affect the relationship is having on you.

Let clarity be your elixir. When we acknowledge how we truly feel while we are around someone we gain clarity about who we are and what affects us. We are far more sensitive than we let on and people and situations can have a lingering effect on us. We don’t have to be so tough anymore.

It may not feel like it at first, but losing momentum on what’s important to us by being set back with negative emotion that doesn’t belong to us is like pedaling on a stationary bike—we just don’t go anywhere. And you’ve got places to go, baby, so blaze that trail.

I hope this gives you the courage to identify the emotional vampires in your life and take action to stop indulging them.

Your words matter, so please share them below. How do you deal with the ones that drag you down? Or have you just been made aware of a vampire you’ve been energetically feeding? Don’t be shy, what you have to say may be what someone needs to hear to break free.

With bite-free love,

Danielle


Danielle Vaughn is a life coach, speaker, yoga teacher and blogger for the Huffington Post and Elephant Journal. She lives in Southlake with her husband, three daughters and two playful rescue dogs. When not in Southlake, Danielle loves traveling and taking in the sights, sounds and tastes the world has to offer.  Coaching clients and hosting workshops in Southlake, Danielle is passionate about helping others navigate through life's circumstances and uncover a life full of purpose, joy and love.  You can find out more about Danielle and read her blog at www.danielle-vaughn.com


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  • Shop for handcrafted finds and support the local artisans responsible for them. Each local artisa...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/23/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/23/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/23/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/23/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/23/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Shop for handcrafted finds and support the local artisans responsible for them. Each local artisa...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/24/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/24/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/24/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/24/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/24/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/25/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/25/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/25/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/25/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/25/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Dine For Dragons: December 26

    12/26/2017
    07:00AM — 12:00AM

    Eat in. Take out. Help fuel Carroll Education Foundation with every meal on December 26. Restaura...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/26/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/26/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/26/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/26/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/26/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/26/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Interlochen Lights 2017

    12/26/2017
    07:00PM — 11:00PM

    "Texas Best" Christmas Lights (as voted by the viewers of the Texas Country Reporter TV Show) are...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/27/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/27/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/27/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/27/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/27/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/27/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/28/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/28/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/28/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/28/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/28/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/28/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 4-8)

    12/29/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Winter Mystery Basket Camp (Ages 9-Teen)

    12/29/2017
    01:00PM — 04:00PM

    Calling all chefs! Cooking shows have nothing on Taste Buds Kitchen's tasty cooking extravaganzas...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/29/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/29/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/29/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/29/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • PARTY ON!

    12/29/2017
    07:00PM — 10:30PM

    Join us each Friday night for our weekly ballroom dance party! A great mix of ballroom, latin, c...


  • Traditional Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Bring the kids and drop in for one of Vetro’s Traditional Ornament Help-Create events, *select da...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/30/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/30/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/30/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Gift of Lights 2017

    12/30/2017
    06:00PM

    The Gift of Lights is a Texas-sized Drive Thru light park hosted at Texas Motor Speedway with a p...


  • Extreme Ornament Help-Create Events

    12/31/2017
    02:00PM — 06:00PM

    Unleash your inner elf during Vetro’s Extreme Ornament Help-Create events, *select dates and time...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    12/31/2017
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Ring in New Years Eve at Truluck's

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 12:00AM

    This New Year's Eve (December 31), Truluck's has two options for diners to ring in the New Year: ...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    12/31/2017
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Toast to the New Year with Moët & Chandon champagne and a five-course dinner in LAW before dancin...


  • New Year's Day Hangover Brunch at Four Seasons

    01/01/2018
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Start 2018 off right with an indulgent brunch and build your own Bloody Mary bar in LAW.


  • New Year's Day Hangover Brunch at Four Seasons

    01/01/2018
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Start 2018 off right with an indulgent brunch and build your own Bloody Mary bar in LAW.


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/01/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • Enchant Christmas Light Maze & Market

    01/01/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    The Lone Star State is about to get a lot brighter as Enchant, The World's Largest Christmas Ligh...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/01/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/02/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/02/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/03/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/03/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/04/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/04/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/05/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/05/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/06/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/06/2018
    05:00PM — 11:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/07/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/07/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


  • Holiday in the Park 2017

    01/08/2018
    02:00PM — 10:00PM

    Holiday in the Park is back for select days from November 17-January 7 at Six Flags Over Texas. I...


  • 2017 Magical Winter Lights

    01/08/2018
    05:00PM — 10:00PM

    Magical Winter Lights is a spectacular, larger-than-life festival that presents a fresh multicult...


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