Was this spring exceptionally beautiful or did sheltering in place lead me to pay more attention? Either way, I have a fresh appreciation of sunsets. I’ve seen more of them lately. Not exactly the panoramic beach variety, but noteworthy still. Filtered between the branches of my front yard trees, the reds, pinks and yellows put on quite a nightly show.
No question, sunsets are beautiful — no matter where they unfold. Yet photographs never do them justice. A live sunset radiates not only amazing colors but also amazing shifting colors...which brings me to a delicate subject.
Another natural phenomenon I am observing is the shifting color of my root line. Silver strands sparkle near my scalp, while nearby my brown hues take on the appearance of a receding shoreline, being nudged down my head by a frosty tide. Some days the changing colors represent a growing affirmation of a new season of authenticity and confidence. Other days...not so much.
I began coloring my hair around 40. My mantra was, “I want to look the same but better.” Now, as 50 creeps closer, the milestone naturally lends itself to reflection. The halfway mark of my life is a good time to take inventory. Who am I? What do I want? And...why am I coloring my hair? Of course I want to look younger. (Or I don’t want to look older.) But is that my motivation?
Everybody either knows my age or, more than likely, doesn’t care. If my mom had any say in it, she would tell me the right shade of lipstick does far more to energize my appearance than the color of my hair. For years, my gray-free hair boosted my confidence, justifying its time and cost. But along with other habits that have been upended of late, my hair routine (or lack thereof) has me thinking.
Maybe it’s time to let it go — not to be confused with letting myself go. Oh gosh no. I’m clinging white-knuckled to vibrance, relevance and vitality for as long as I can. But does my hair color have anything to do with how I am living my life? Is the cost/benefit ratio balanced here? And to those who wholeheartedly continue to color and cover, make no mistake, I am not judging. I still curl my hair for Zoom calls and the facefilter button is permanently on. Yet my salt and pepper potential has given me pause. Is it time to embrace au naturel?
I don’t know what shifting colors will emerge on my head in the upcoming months. Or if I will even stay away from the salon long enough to find out. In the meantime, I’ll keep my friend’s quote posted to my bathroom mirror: “I fully believe that claiming what makes you feel confident and beautiful is how you should live your life.” So while the hair question looms, I’ll attempt to claim the beauty in my world; from salt and pepper to sunsets.
Lauren Green has lived in Wyndsor Creek since 2007. After her two children, Emery and Collin, flew the coop to college, she and her husband, Frank, still try to stay connected to their neighbors by talking nightly walks with their yellow lab, Macy, and tackling endless chores in the yard.
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