Parents Dare to Dream about Better Behavior
Sponsored by Brain Balance Achievement Center
Written by C. Powell and K. Milam
At Brain Balance, our objective is to become a resource forbrparents looking for solutions to behavioral, social and academic issues. Overbrthe past few years, parents have asked us for more help with their children’sbrbehavior, and we have listened. This summer, we have explored how to setbrboundaries, positive versus negative reinforcement and hidden messages found inbra child’s difficult behavior. Now we want to pull it all together andbrprovide you with ideas to not only allow you to dream about better behavior butbralso help put together an action plan.
Two of our favorite sayings around the office are “if youbrwant change, you have to change” and “don’t compare your beginning to someonebrelse’s middle.” Let’s start with a recap of what a brain imbalance is and what it’sbrnot. Kids with an immaturity in their right- or left-brain hemisphere presentbrbehavior challenges beyond typical adolescent behaviors. Neurobehavioralbrdisorders make it more difficult, but not impossible, to find the missing piecebrof the puzzle.
Children are often held accountable for their chronologicalbrage. For example, an 8-year-old boy entering the third grade is expectedbrto understand right from wrong, be able to focus for one hour at a time,bridentify more content than letters and words while reading and have the abilitybrto pay attention at both school and home. However, the developmental brain agebrdoes not always match the chronological age.
When a child’s brain age is behind, chances are theirbrbehavior will be inappropriate and more in line with their brain age ratherbrthan actual age. This means our imagined 8-year-old boy with a developmentalbrbrain age of 6 will not have age-appropriate behavior. This is why it is sobrcritical to get to the root of the problem and in the meantime set realisticbrexpectations to help him down the developmental path of success. We have foundbrthat parents are remarkably able to guess their child’s brain age without thebruse of all the high-tech equipment we have in our office. Simply ask yourself —brif you didn’t know how old your child was — how old do they act? What age kidsbrare they most comfortable playing with? These two answers will typically give abrgood guess as to what a child’s brain age is.
Understanding abrchild’s brain age makes it easier for parents to set behavioral expectationsbrand boundaries. Below is a chart that gives an idea of the differencebrbetween a right-underdeveloped brain and a left-underdeveloped brain. It listsbrexamples of some common symptoms that stem from a developmental immaturity.
ActionbrPlan
It is necessary to make a plan and stick to the plan.brYou cannot implement these suggestions for a day or two and give up and saybr“that didn’t work” and move on to the next idea. Anything worth doing is worthbrsticking to! So give it the time it needs to work. Yes, the plan will need tobrbe revised occasionally as the brain age improves, but an action plan will putbryou steps ahead. Below we have listed four essential areas to review andbrdetermine the correct plan of action.
1. Diet
2. Level of Activity
3. Age Appropriate Positive MotivationbrChart - Neurologically proven to be most effective if your child’s left brainbris weaker. These kids will be very blasé about take-a-ways but will reallybrrespond to rewards and being caught being “good”.
4. Age Appropriate Negative ConsequencebrPlan: For a child whose right brain is immature, negative reinforcementbrworks best. Use the fear of loss as the motivator. If you don’tbr_______, then this will be the consequence.
For more information on implementing this action plan, visit Brain Balance.