By Leah Spina
Sarah was ecstaticbrwhen her new baby girl arrived. The smell of the tiny newborn head. Thebrpea-sized toes. A live doll baby to dress each day.
But she also feltbrher life crashed. All she did, all day AND all night long, was take care of herbrnew baby. Feed the baby, change the baby's diaper, rock the baby. Repeat. Atbrthe end of the day, she felt like she got nothing done even though she had beenbrworking non-stop. “I don't even know who I am anymore,” she cried to herbrhusband after a long day. “I feel like a rat running on a wheel and I can'tbrjump off. I love my baby, but it feels like my life has stopped!”
Here are somebrthings to remember during the “diaper blizzard” first few weeks. You can enjoybrthis season, you just have to keep a good perspective!
1. The newborn season is not permanent. There will be a day when you will no longer feed yourbrbaby every three hours. There will be a day when your baby will sleep longerbrthan a four-hour stretch at night. There will be a day when you will no longerbrlug around a diaper bag and infant car seat everywhere you go. This is a temporary,brheavy-caretaking season. Relax and enjoy your new normal!
2. Keep a sense of humor. When your baby has a blow-out diaper and ruins thebrentire outfit, laugh! When your baby spits up all over your fresh, clean shirtbrthat you just put on, giggle! You can’t change hairy newborn circumstances, butbryou can always change your attitude. You can either laugh or cry at the newbrbaby chaos. Choose to laugh! It’s good for you and for the baby.
3. Handle sleep deprivation with a grain of salt. One exhausted new mom told herself after the firstbrfew sleepless nights, “Just make it to the weekend!” But when the weekend hit, the sleeplessbrnights continued. This was the new normal – ha! Remember both you and yourbrspouse are not yourselves when overtired. Habitual sleep deprivation makesbreveryone grumpy. Try to not only extend grace to your partner, but also tobryourself after a dicey night. Everything seems like a big deal when you are dogbrtired. Try to avoid talking about big, stressful subjects. When you snap,brremind yourself and others that you are overtired and just not yourself.brNewborn nights will pass!
4. Remember your partner in the new normal. Even though it feels like your life is the one mostbraffected by the new baby, remember your tired, supportive spouse. They want tobrlove and support you. But it’s hard to do if you snap at them with constantbrcomplaining. Work as a team with good communication – i.e. keep expressing thebrchallenges of your new normal instead of expecting them to understandbreverything you are going through. “Honey, I’m so sorry. It’s not you. I’m justbrreally tired and overwhelmed.”
5. Take a break when you can. Moms caretaking for days and nights on end with nobrbreak will snap. You can’t run on empty. Try to slip away, when you can, tobrrejuvenate yourself. It may look different for each mom. Maybe it’s just abrlong, uninterrupted shower while your partner is on baby duty. Or try a Targetbr“staycation” – sipping coffee during an hour of uninterrupted shopping. Figurebrout what helps you regroup so you can return to your baby refreshed.
The early days ofbrparenthood can be delicious if you keep a good parenting perspective. Try to proactively set yourself up for success,brbut if a day unravels, remember this season is just temporary. Laugh and enjoybryour new baby!
Leah Spina is abrformer journalist of a national newsweekly turned stay-at-home mom to threebrchildren, age five and under. She lives in the Dallas area with her husband,brDavid, and is a speaker to mom groups and conferences. Her book Stop and Smell Your Children: Laugh andbrEnjoy the Little Years helps parents to enjoy, not just endure, the littlebryears by changing their parenting perspective. It launches in October and isbravailable for preorder now on Amazon. Visit leahspina.com to subscribe tobrLeah’s blog, and follow her on Instagram (leahthespina) and Facebook. When Leahbris not burning macaroni and cheese, she enjoys singing Italian opera, ridingbrhorses and drinking inordinate amounts of Starbucks coffee.