By Leah Spina
We have a Fort Worth Zoo membership. Ibrlove to meet friends for a non-crowded weekday morning for a zoo playdate,brfollowed by lunch in the shade. I was preparing for one of these zoo trips thebrnight before in the kitchen, after my children dozed off. My preggo feet werebrswollen as I lassoed lunch boxes, sunscreen, clothes and hoisted our giganticbrdouble BOB stroller into the back of my car. I purposely set my alarm for thebrcrack of dawn so I could peacefullyget myself ready, breakfast prepared and be that shining, beautiful mother Ibralways dream about as I got the kids up and out the door.
But somehow,brsomewhere, getting out the door with young children often GETS THE BETTER OFbrME. By the end of the morning the nextbrday, I was almost in tears at the interruptions, delays, disobedience andbrunbelievable amount of time it took to get everyone in the car. 10 full minutesbrlater than I had planned. I FINALLY jumped in the driver's seat, after everyonebrwas buckled in, and smashed on my black sunglasses. I was furious at myself forbrgetting upset while getting out the door. Again.
Five minutes into our drive, I turnedbraround and apologized to my sweetie pies for my unkind tones. "It is neverbrright for mama to raise her voice, would you forgive me?" My five-year-old,brwhite-haired Samson, who often has been the main culprit, moaned with littlebrtears in his blue eyes, "Yeah, that WEALLY hurts my heart, Mama!"
Before children, Ibrwas always on time. But the more young children I had, the harder it got.brDespite immense planning, preparation and allotting plenty of time for delays. (Privately, I am still in utter shock at howbrlong it takes - ha!) I do not like being late. I like to be an "onbrtime" type of girl and I feel it can be rude to make others wait. I try hardbrto be on time.
HOWEVER, in the bigbrscheme of life, being a kind mother is truly more important to me than being onbrtime. Here are some things I try to rememberbrin the stress of being somewhere on time with little ones - maybe it will helpbryou!
- NOTHING is worth raising my voicebrat my children, even being late. Mybrfamily and little ones come first.
- Young children NATURALLY causebrdelays, interruptions, messes and need constant help. I cannot get frustrated or resent normal, childlike behavior.brThey're just young children!
- I do my very best to plan aheadbrand prepare for getting out the door with night-before preparation, a simplebrbreakfast and plenty of time for delays. BUT, if my beautiful, happybrmorning begins to unravel, I try to keep a "big picture" perspectivebrso I don't get swallowed up in the stress. Yes, maybe we are going to be fivebror ten minutes late. IT'S NOT WORTH DESTROYING OUR MORNING OVER.
- If a child needs some extrabrtraining for disobedience or attitude that causes us to be late, I need tobrremember that is one of the most important things I am doing right now as abrmother. I cannot resent child or behavior because it's "making us allbrlate" - although I am utterly ashamed I have actually said that phrase tobrSamson after multiple disobedience acts on a busy morning trying to get out thebrdoor. I need to STOP my on-time agenda, address the situation with a cool head.brPatient mothering is more important than my mental time goal.
If you can't tell, (ha!) this is anbrarea I constantly struggle with: WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO GET OUT THEbrDOOR!?! WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS QUICKLY GET DRESSED AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH? AREN'T YOUbrDONE EATING BREAKFAST YET? YOU HAVE TO GO THE BATHROOM AGAIN? PLEASE JUSTbrCONCENTRATE AND PUT THESE SHORTS ON! WHERE ARE YOU SHOES!?!?!?
But I am determinedbrto keep trying to remember the big picture and improve. It's never worthbrgetting upset at my little darlings.
(PS and if you are my friend,brand we are a few minutes late to meet you, please know I tried, REALLY TRIED,brto be on time. Ha!)
Leah Spina is a formerbrjournalist of a national newsweekly turned stay-at-home mom to three children,brage five and under. She lives in the Dallas area with her husband, David, andbris a speaker to mom groups and conferences. Her book Stop and Smell Your Children: Laugh and Enjoy the Little Yearsbrhelps parents to enjoy, not just endure, the little years by changing theirbrparenting perspective. It launches in October and is available for preorder nowbron Amazon. Visit leahspina.com to subscribe to Leah’s blog, and follow her onbrInstagram (leahthespina) and Facebook. When Leah is not burning macaroni andbrcheese, she enjoys singing Italian opera, riding horses and drinking inordinatebramounts of Starbucks coffee.