By Leah Spina
Last Sunday, I was running around like abrcrazed madwoman, trying to get my little family ready for church. We werebrtrying to make the 9am service. I popped a scratchy, Sunday dress over Esther'sbrhead and smeared her fine baby hair back with a big bow. I threw on a maternitybrdress and a pair of silver earrings (no time for make-up today!). Dave slickedbrSamson's white hair back like Leave it tobrBeaver and we hurled everyone downstairs.
I slapped an army of matching plastic bowlsbron the table, a box of blueberries and then turned to the pantry to grab a boxbrof cereal. It was then that I heard a terrifying noise. Two-year-old Esther hadbraccidentally knocked the gigantic, economy-sized box of blueberries from Costcobroff the table. Millions of blue balls dribbled all over the kitchen and underbrthe table. Samson and Esther, perched standing on kitchen chairs, looked at mebrwith big eyes.
Samson: “Esser! You made a BIG MESS! SPANKbrHER, Mama!”
Esther jumped down from her chair and ranbrtoward the towel drawer, popping blueberries under her fat toddler feet as shebrran, “I KWEAN, I KWEAN!”
I couldn't move because anywhere I steppedbrwould produce blueberry wine. Now we were going to be late FOR SURE. I coveredbrmy eyes with my hand and softly chanted, “I have small children. I have smallbrchildren. This is normal.”
Have your children ever created a big mess,brespecially when you are trying to be somewhere on time? How do you handle thatbrstress? One thing that helps me is to remember a few “big picture” thoughts:
- Nothing is worth yelling at mybrkids
- Nothing is worth getting angrybrat my kids
- I would rather be late, than bebrmean and lose it
- When a mess or spill happens,brjust take a breath and remember to be PATIENT.
We are caring for small, quick-moving,bruncoordinated little people. Messes, interruptions and spills are NATURAL. Theybrare a NORMAL part of early parenthood. We will spend most of our time caringbrfor them and cleaning up after them. Small children naturally dominate ourbrtime. It's not right to begrudge or get angry at them for natural childbrbehavior. We are “unproductive” adults during these years because we are caringbrfor little ones – it's normal!
- If I do lose it (and trust me,brI have yelled! I have been VERY angry!), I try to regroup and as soon as I ambrable, I apologize to all my children.Even the little ones that cannot understand. It’s good for me and good for thembrto develop a pattern of forgiveness. (I so admired my father growing up becausebrhe always apologized to his five children if he ever messed up!)
- And, of course, sometimes if anbrovertired, overwhelmed mama keeps snapping, you need to take a break. Ask your husband, grandparent or hire abrbabysitter. We cannot give to our families if we are running on empty.br(Yesterday, for example, I asked Dave to watch the kids so I could slip away tobrdo my Bible study alone and uninterrupted in the parking lot before I went inbrto do grocery shopping).
EVERY MOM struggles with spills and messes. It’s frustrating. It creates more work whenbryou feel overwhelmed at the normal daily duties. It’s challenging to live in abrconstantly chaotic environment, and then you add another mess – woa! But try tobrkeep perspective: the days are long, but the years are few.
Think about five years frombrnow, when you look back at this time.
What type of mama do you want to be rightbrnow? Your children are so blessed to call you their mama. Each day you arebrblooming and growing in patience and kindness. Someday we will be old granniesbrlooking back at the little years and wishing we had little blueberry messes inbrour neat, boring kitchens again. Keep perspective, and you will keep your cool.brIf you lose it, apologize and grow. You can do it!
Leah Spina is a former journalist of a nationalbrnewsweekly turned stay-at-home mom to three children, age five and under. Shebrlives in the Dallas area with her husband, David, and is a speaker to mombrgroups and conferences. Her book Stop and Smell Your Children: Laugh and Enjoybrthe Little Years helps parents to enjoy, not just endure, the little years bybrchanging their parenting perspective. It launches in October and is availablebrfor preorder now on Amazon. Visit leahspina.com to subscribe to Leah’s blog,brand follow her on Instagram (leahthespina) and Facebook. When Leah is notbrburning macaroni and cheese, she enjoys singing Italian opera, riding horsesbrand drinking inordinate amounts of Starbucks coffee.